My self isolation begins, is immediately disturbed, and I think about the long lasting effects of anime during my formative years on my world views and sense of style.
Is madness setting in?
MONDAY 23.03.2020
On today’s agenda: leftover Thai food.
That delicious spicy spice. I scream ayyyyyy. My stomach lining screams AHHHHHHHHH.
I made a lot of mistakes today. I ate a lot of Reese’s. I watched a lot of Naruto. Which is certainly an experience to relive as an adult. Why is there so much staring in Naruto? It's excessive, it's obscene. Why can’t we have nice things?? Like a fight scene full of fisticuffs instead of tense closeups???
Things that weren’t mistakes include: the lecture that I gave for the creative direction students at CNC. There may have been some Zoom technical difficulties but we got there in the end and Johannes thought the students looked interested. I’ll take it.
Realizing as an adult that you like to talk about things at length and share knowledge and new ideas with people, is weird. I'm giving lectures, I'm creating podcasts, and all my report cards as a child were just about how quiet I was in class. Is this character development? Maybe I have too much time alone with my thoughts to examine my own neuroses.
Anyway. It snowed, I went outside barefoot, I filmed it for instagram and got yelled at.
TUESDAY 24.03.2020
Day one on my own.
Trump referring to Coronavirus as “The Chinese Disease" apparently isn’t racist because it's descriptive of where the disease originated. Sometimes white people do things and I am horrifically reminded that I am a white people surrounded by other white people. I feel this is the simplest form of racism to avoid and yet here we are.
But, to take my mind off the horrors of government, I edited a very exciting opening for the podcast. I may have clapped to myself when I sent it out for review. And I may have received overexcited mutual screaming in return.
Wednesday 25.03.2020
Day two on my own.
Emily and I had scheduled a time to record a filler episode for the pod, which resulted in a chat that could’ve easily been three full episodes. Meanwhile, hacking together the first installment is taking me forever – mostly due to procrastination. But! The filler episode is already complete and it took me, what? Three hours? Less?? Let's hope this bodes well for the future of pod editing.
Six of us from the masters cohort managed to get on a Zoom call. There seems to be a lot of weird interactions right now; it’s great that we were finally able to get together but strange that it’s under pandemic circumstances. I need to get better about staying in contact with everyone, I miss them! Scarlett and I are going to schedule some individual call time. It will happen.
As it turns out, my hermitage was not built to last. My dad returned while I was in the middle of a crucial nap. I hadn’t cleaned the kitchen in two days. What kind of isolation is this? It hasn't even been a week. IT'S DAY TWO.
So far I’ve only been 50% successful getting into a routine.
THURSDAY 26.03.2020
The 50% routine I gained yesterday immediately went out the window.
AT FOUR AM I FINISHED EDITING THE FIRST PODCAST TEASER FOR INSTAGRAM. I may unexpectedly and accidentally learn motion media while working on this project. I’m okay with that.
Emily and I talk a lot about this idea of perfection and how waiting for something to be perfect is the best way to hold yourself back. The instastory definitely wasn’t perfect but it was step one in my newfound desire to master previously unconsidered skills.
Out in the world, the newest regulation is a ban on reusable grocery bags. You can’t bring your own into stores anymore because the potential that they’ll be contaminated and make workers sick is high. It makes total sense but is also ironic? We’ve spent like the last ten years shaming (and charging) people who don’t minimize plastic and paper bag consumption. And now, here we are. Back to nonreusables.
FRIDAY 27.03.2020
I’m watching The Three Musketeers on a stolen Disney+ family account while I write this. I love a movie that starts with a six person horse chase, I must admit. Even when it takes place in France with zero (count them, zero) French accents. The horse that D’Artagnan rides is the Frenchest animal I’ve ever seen, I’m not sure if that makes up for the language discrepancies.
My mood today is that I feel 50% of the people I see are doing the right things to prevent the spread of Coronavirus while the other 50% are completely fucking it up. I haven’t seen another person outside a digital device in 2 weeks versus I've ordered takeout from every restaurant I know even though that involves people touching things I touch.
The audio file for Edition 01 of the pod is done. It took a lot longer than I anticipated but I also made it harder for myself by accident…but that’s how first edits work. We decided that tomorrow morning we’re going to rerecord one of the bits. The version we have now is mostly us talking in circles, which could take 3 hours of editing for 1.5 minutes of content.
We have now reached the wine-fueled, drunken carriage chase of the second act. God, I love it.
“There’s no queen of America.” - D’Artagnan
SATURDAY 28.03.2020
Here’s the problem with routines. If you have nothing to be accountable to, routines are hard. I have all these grand plans but I can just keep telling myself that I’ll do things later until it’s 11:30pm and all I’ve accomplished is baking–and then eating–cupcakes.
So here we are. That’s how my food journey is going. I was listening to Daisy Jones again today, which is largely focused on a few characters who are, or have been, very addicted to many things (but mostly heroine). I know it’s fictional but listening to these characters talk about addiction hits too close to home, in a sugar over drugs sort of way.
Even the smell of whiskey takes me back to what drinking was like and I don’t want to shy away from the terribleness of being an addict, I want to go back to it.
That's a paraphrase but YIKES.
Sort of unrelated, Batgirl and I decided to schedules in some morning Skype workout sessions. She needs to get in training hours to become a yoga instructor and I need to actually start working out in the mornings like I keep telling myself I’m going to.
If I stay trapped in this languishing idea that I have to do an hour workout to have achieved anything, I'll continue to fail. When it comes to many things, but especially pushups, fifteen minutes is better than no minutes…
SUNDAY 29.03.2020
How much can one person dance around their house thinking about fictional plot lines before they’re classified as mentally unsound? Asking for a friend.
Is it better if I say that I’m dressed only in boxers, fuzzy socks, and a sweatshirt? No? Okay.
To be fair, I started doing this long before Coronavirus entered the world. This is why I live alone.
The moral of this intro is that Hero’s Comeback by nobody+ slaps.
I realized that I have an inherent problem with Naruto. It’s that Naruto is not the main character in Naruto.
His character arc is basically a flat line and, if it is there, I would describe it as being strongly material. All he does is master physical power and cry about Sasuke and friendship a lot. Every character he interacts with literally molds to his will and he achieves his one, singular goal to become Hokage, which he declared in the first chapter of the first book of the manga. That’s it.
The actual protagonist of Naruto is Sasuke (and I’m not just saying that because suddenly I realized that Sasuke is the reason I am slowly accumulating high-necked, wide collared shirts and capes). Think about it. He drives literally the entire plot from the first second we meet him. He has the mystery, he has the emotionally invested villain, he has the plot twist, he has literally the entire character development arc until the last second where they pulled up short.
Sasuke is the actual protagonist of Naruto. But it’s like they didn’t realize that until the end of Shippuden and then panicked, had him suddenly decide to become Hokage, and ripped his arm off.
I get that it’s constructed around Japanese folklore but I don’t know, ending the series in a situation where Naruto actually defeats Sasuke to gain his recognition and cement himself as worthy seems counter to the whole idea of the series. Which is that Naruto’s optimism and ability to form friendships defeats all evil.
Is friendship ripping each other's arms off to show that now–finally–you've bonded and respect each other? I have questions.
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